Appreciation........

Our boxer Mckenzie

I appreciate her unconditional love. She saved my life!

Appreciation...

Today, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I feel I have been selfish since Zach’s suicide. I wasn’t seeing all the gifts I have in my life. I was just in grief mode. With guilt topping it off, like a cherry. I received a gift of a homemade stained glass sunflower. I was totally caught off guard. My favorite flower, absolutely beautiful. It was the light I needed to see. I have been blinded by grief for too long.

The world has a way of stopping you, forcing you to look around. I guess I couldn’t see all the blessings. I couldn’t see my husband silently grieving, only being by my side watching me fall apart. And then get up again. I couldn’t see all the people that truly care about me. The many well thought out or home made gifts I was given in the past 4 years. Those things have given me the strength to keep going on bad days. If I didn’t tell you then how much that has helped me. I am forever grateful for each one of you and your thoughtfulness.

I have many well thought out things my family and friends have given me or said to me. This is as if the sun has come out when I see all the love that was unconditionally given to me. I am able now to really appreciate these things and see they were brave enough to acknowledge the pain I was in. It’s easier to stay and wallow in grief. It is not what Zach would have wanted for me. It isn’t what my family wants to see. It isn’t what my friends want to see.

I want to acknowledge and thank all the mothers that are going through this heartache of losing a child to suicide. Having the courage to reach out to me and share their stories of grief and pain. Helping each other through. Some of which have Zach’s signature “Much Love” on their vehicles. So cool!

I just want to say “thank you” to each and every one of you for all the unconditional support and love. Each one has helped me in so many ways. I will continue the Much Love Foundation, because all of you have given me the courage, strength and a lighter heart to continue with a purpose to help others. With that said, because of your generous donations to the Much Love foundation. We have been able to donate to “Stop Soldiers Suicide”. A foundation near and dear to our hearts with our youngest being in the Air Force.

Much Love -

Leigh

The beautiful stained glass sunflower my friend Ellen made me.