When you’re suicidal, you’re not thinking of who is going to clean up the mess. You’re not thinking of who’s going to find you, go through your stuff, and examine the details. You don’t think of who you’re leaving behind or how they’re going to deal with the loss of you. You don’t care about the mess you’re leaving because you believe YOU ARE the mess.
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Its been nearly ten month, and I still struggle to share my thoughts on that day and our lives since...
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All I want for Christmas is for Zach to be here. Our family lost my son, Zach, to suicide this past February, February 15th to be exact, nine months ago. I treasure the hook necklace seen in this picture of Zach.
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Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States for all ages. Over the past decade the suicide rate has been 12.1 per 100,000 people. That leaves us with approximately 105 American suicides per year. Looking at both societal and psychological perspectives we can build an understanding as to why suicide happens.
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Three of the hardest things I've ever done in my life was accepting my oldest son, Zach, committed suicide, having to call Zach's brothers and sisters to tell them and writing this blog for our Much Love campaign to help people like our family deal with depression and suicide. When I think about reliving what happened I get a sick feeling all over.
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Little did I know that the weekend of Friday, February 13 would change my life forever. I spent the day with my son, Zach, here at Holly Bluff Marina and had a great day. We talked about a lot of things, his past relationships and good memories mostly. Everything was okay so I never suspected that he was going to get bombarded on late Saturday by all the negative stuff that was going on in his life. Had I known, I would have been there.
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7 months ago I received the worst news of my life. The kind of life changing news you hope you never have to receive. I had been out to see a movie with some coworkers and we had just finished breakfast. I looked down and noticed several phone calls from my brother Jason. There is no other reason for someone to call multiple times unless its really bad.
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